Joe Signorelli, a hard working player that looks like he has the skills of a division 1 hockey player, but only had 1 goal in his senior year of high school. Little does anyone know that he chose to take his talents Achoo, where dusters get their barns mucked and you can sign a 7 year conny like chem Dan.

[Pax]: Hey Sigs,

-[Sigs]: Hey Pax, how’s it going?

You’re on a 2 on 1 with Jack Mascali, how does it play out?

- Obviously we’re just looking to showcase the chemistry, so there’ll be some fanciful passes that can only come from a true IM connection. Honestly, we might not even get a shot on goal. We’d probably just turn back up ice and play keep away from the other team until the clock runs out.

I’d like to see how that bold strategy plays out this season. Favorite slang term in hockey?

- Lot of controversy surrounding this one, but it definitely has to be “mucking barn in the corner” because I really feel its sums up my playing style, both on and off the ice.

Yes, definitely a lot of controversy surrounding that one. Probably would have been best to leave that one outside the interview. If someone you were talking crap about popped up right next to you and heard what you were saying, how would you react?

- Not so sure. I’d probably send them a GroupMe direct message apologizing, and maybe score a hatty for them as part of my apology.

I doubt that. How many goals did you have last season? Would you rather wear a through the cage mouthguard or a jofa helmet?

- That’s tough, because on one hand the jofa helmet makes me look like Gretzky, but on the other hand the cage mouthguard makes me look like Ty, and I’m not sure which player I idolize more. Ideally, I’d wear both.

Interesting comparison, I see Ty as more of a Malcolm Subban except not a goalie. ​If you could trade one of the attributes of your game for any other attribute, what would it be?

-I think I’d trade my raw penalty kill instinct for better cellys, because a great penalty kill doesn’t get the crowd buzzing quite like an unreal celly. And let’s face it, for the amount of time I spend practicing my cellies, when the time comes I always choke and leave something to be desired.  

How often does “the time come” though, for real? Green grapes or red grapes? Watermelon or cantaloupe? Dragon fruit or star fruit? Vanilla or chocolate? Mint gum or cinnamon gum?

-Red, watermelon, star, chocolate, mint

2 for 5.. Green grapes, watermelon, none, chocolate, cinnamon.. You are one of the lefties in the league. Kind of embarrassing, don’t you think?

-I was a little embarrassed until my mom told me it's one of my more endearing qualities, so now I’m glad I’m a lefty.

Nice, my mom said lefties are the devil. I’m hoping to see a lot of Avalon victories out of you. Do you see yourself as a minion of Mordred (bad guys) or a loyal servant of Arthur (good guys).

-I’m always that rapscallion Percival, but I always fantasize about being an Agent of Ejil.

Yeah I always saw you as sort of a bad person, just kinda cold hearted all the way to the core. You know what I mean? Beat one, lose to one, tie with one: Harvard, Umass Lowell, St. A’s?

-Beat Harvard, lose to St. A’s, tie with Umass Lowell.

You get flitzed at 6:43 on a friday night for a formal by the girl who you really was hoping wouldn’t flitz you. Do you sit at home and incubate your dinosaurs eggs, or do you go walk your great grandfather’s pet snake?

-Yeah for sure! Then I’d probably go order some pasta fagioli off eBay while I binge watch all the Disney Channel Original movies.

Nice, I don’t know what fagioli is. How many points are you planning to get this seaz-daddy. Last year you had a whopping 13 despite bold claims that were made?

- Whatever the league record is, maybe 4 of 5 more than that. Not sure what the current record is, so I’ll probably just play it safe with 60 points.

I think last year’s leader had over 120 points. If you had to guess, what percentage of the club hockey dues have the coaches embezzled in order to spend money on personalized gear for themselves?

-100%. I’ve seen the books. Turns out dues are $50 more than they have to be, and that extra money goes into some account titled “Why We Coach,” whatever that means.